Most of you know that my friend since childhood, Bridgette, made a donation to the Donate Life Tournament of Roses float in memory of my husband, "H." I should have come here to "hellofuzzy" then for proper explanation, but I was so overwhelmed and shocked that compiling complete sentences would have been a challenge.
I'm writing this today in hopes that at least one of you will be convinced to sign the back of your driver's license and become an organ donor after you read this blog. I'm not asking you to do it for me; I'm asking you to do it for the ones you leave behind.
Technically, he has been gone for 972 days. I can't stop the counting. Tomorrow I will wake up and know it is 973. I wish I could stop the counting, but I can't. Waking up is the worst, and that's when I will say 973. I say it to remind myself of how far I've come and as a tiny prayer that God will do something positive with my life during 973 like He has done today with 972 by sending us a warm smile while watching the parade.
Mainly, I hope to maybe write about our family's experience with organ donation to help you get a better understanding of what to expect for yourself and your loved ones. There was a lot I didn't know at the time, but now it all makes sense to me.
Time is of the essence, and gosh, it was difficult for me to keep composure. I was at a point where I wanted the world to stop, but H being a donor meant that the work ahead was crutial and there was no time to stop. Period. City law enforcement arrived first as with any similar situation, and the first question they asked was if he was an organ donor and where was his license. Once they read he was an organ donor, everything sped up to a rate that was so fast everything sounded like Charlie Brown's school teacher and I couldn't translate. Remember spinning on the merry go round at Ford's Woods and looking up at the sky while you did? That's how my head felt, and my heart was in a million tiny pieces. In fact, "fast" is about the only thing I can tell you I really do remember until my phone rang.
Someone from Tennessee Donor Services called and called and called. Holly very patiently handled that for me. Finally, she and others said, "You have to do this now."
After my husband left home, I hid here in my computer room with friends holding my speaker phone while I answered hundreds of questions about his social and medical history. I could not imagine being the person who has that job to call. Regardless of her salary, she earned it ten times over that day. The interview took an hour and forty-five minutes. Now, you need to put yourself in this analogy: a typical movie lasts a little over 90 minutes these days. Who in your family do you want to answer questions about you for that long after you are with God ? Please pick someone to do it. Pick several. Prepare them for the difficulty but encourage them to give the information because they will be helping to save lives within hours of hanging up the phone. The questions are blunt, personal, and scary. The truth must be told, and in the end, the gift of life can be given to a total stranger who may be the very person to cure heart disease, cancer, or birth defects...especially if the recipient is a child.
The donation procedures before the visitation services limit what you can do at the memorial services. Depending on the types of donations your loved one is capable of giving, you and your family might need to make practical decisions about your loved one's viewing. Just take a deep breath and know that doing so is providing life. Knowing I'd see him again some day was my greatest comfort, but knowing someone was gaining life from him at that moment was a healing I never knew before.
After the services were behind me, and the quiet came, those were the days I found most difficult. The people at Donate Life know that. Soon, your loved ones will start getting the most amazing correspondence in the mail. Donate Life will make contact on birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays. In the fall though, your loved ones will get a very touching invitation.
Your family will be invited to a celebration of giving in Knoxville. They will be asked to bring a quilt square to represent your lost love one. The quilt squares are all assembled together and go on tour around the state to encourage organ donation. I made H's square from his blue jeans. One strip for every family member made the base and then a pocket on top. Leigh Anne took it and had his name and a dove embroidered on the pocket. Upon our arrival at the ceremony, I gave it to a volunteer to place on a quilt board for all to see.
You will hear testimonies from organ recipients. You will meet parents who lost their children but found peace in giving life. You will be surrounded by a kind of calm and silence I never knew until that day. Josh accepted a medal to honor his dad as a donor on that day during the ceremony.
The Donate Life organization does everything as right as is possible to bring comfort to those who gave and celebrate those who receive. At the end of the day's event, each person in attendance is given a note card to attach to a balloon. The balloons are released as guests depart from the ceremony. The sky is speckled with faith, hope, and love all directed toward Heaven.
My note read as follows:
I'm not writing this for sympathy. I'm writing it to hopefully enlighten you about the unknown and encourage you to have a very important conversation with your family about being organ donors.
Day 972 has been a wonderful day. The girl I met standing in the hallway while we waited to get on Bus 3 in third grade took the time to acknowledge my husband's gift of organ donation in the Tournament of Roses Parade about 32 years after I met her. My husband's name was attached to a rose on a beautiful float filled with families of children whose lives were lost in horrific tragedies but found a way to fulfill a purpose through the pain. The float and its story were beautiful and very humbling.
Fulfilling a purpose through the pain is what I think we have to do. Scratch that. It's what we're supposed to do.
If you need a pen to sign your organ donor consent on your license, let me know...I'll get one to you.
I wish you all a happy new year filled with peace of mind and spirit.
Most of you know that my friend since childhood, Bridgette, made a donation to the Donate Life Tournament of Roses float in memory of my husband, "H." I should have come here to "hellofuzzy" then for proper explanation, but I was so overwhelmed and shocked that compiling complete sentences would have been a challenge.
